I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
