Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
