And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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