i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
