census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
