Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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