I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
