as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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