Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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