I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm really busy with my period
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