You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
