Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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