hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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