I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
