Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
