she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize