Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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