so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
