A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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