Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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