Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
