you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize