Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
