did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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