I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You can't motorboat a personality
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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