so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
