You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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