Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
