Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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