Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
