Buhtt sex?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
