i barfeds in our rink
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
