Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
