Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize