at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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