lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
