A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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