What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
