And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
