so explain again why im purple
no
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
