You're completely useless in the revolution.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
