Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
