So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
