Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
