come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
