belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
