I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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