So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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