she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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