The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
