WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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