How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
