He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My ATM looks so different sober.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What happened to fro yo and sex?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
