big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
