I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
