I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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