I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
