quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
