I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize