just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
