Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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