OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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