i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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