so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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